What Do I Talk About With That Handsome Man? Dating 201
By Catherine Muss
So you’ve caught a man’s attention and initiated contact with “Hi” and “How do you know the host?”. Well done!
Before your palms start to sweat, I’ve got good news for you. Men are easy to talk to. Yes, really. The approach may be a little different than when you’re talking to your girlfriends.
When you’re talking to men, say it like you mean it. Unlike your girlfriends, men don’t have a lot of interest in minute details such as what day you did something, “Ok so I went out on Monday. Or maybe it was Tuesday? What did I even do Monday? I really think it was Monday. But maybe not.” girlfriend, just say “Recently…”.
Be honest. Don’t act like you understand something you don’t. In fact, ask questions if you get onto at topic you don’t know much about. “I don’t keep up with the Bond franchise, but I’ve seen bits and pieces. What’s your favourite Bond movie? Why?” Use this tactic to find out what you DO have in common and branch off on conversation from there. Perhaps you both admire Daniel Craig’s work.
Don’t hide your brains. If you know a lot about topic you’re talking about, never ever dumb yourself down for fear you’ll make him feel insecure or intimidated. You want him to like you for YOU, right?
So what are you looking for in this conversation?
What are signs to walk away?
A note about first impressions: If the man you’re talking to sounds like a guy right off the bat, consider that he may be as nervous as you are about this chat, and that he’s overcompensating to make a good first impression. He doesn’t realize that he sounds like a self-centred jerk. Trust your instinct. If you’re not into him, move on. But if you’re thinking you’d like to talk about something else and just see whether he really thinks he’s all that and a bag of chips, go for it! You can excuse yourself to the bathroom after the second topic and continue your dating journey elsewhere.
Here’s a list of neutral, easy-conversation topics
Notice what’s missing from this list: career, kids, relationships, politics, religion, money. Those are all personal topics and this is not the time to breech that threshold. Keep the conversation positive – it’s so easy to bond over grievances and complaints, some something as simple as the poor service at the restaurant or the matters of the heart such as your failed relationships. It’s too easy to get caught up in the negative, which will set the trajectory of your relationship down a damaging path. Be confident in yourself and your part of the conversation; guys like insecure women because they can manipulate her into making her priorities about him. A man wants a woman who is confident, because he wants to get along with her, walk the road of life with her, not because of her. Keep in mind that you’re dating a potential new friend because ultimately you’re looking for your BFF!
Catherine Muss is a freelance writer based in Waterloo Region. She has a Bachelor of Journalism from Ryerson University, and she would have minored in psychology if she’d taken the “right” psych classes, but she took the fun ones instead.