Men give us plenty of reason to complain about them. Especially when we’re dating them. If you have some complaints about your man it means you’re spending lots of time getting to know each other, which is what dating is all about! But how do you know when something he does that bothers you is reason to dump him and move on? Here’s a list of 3 common complaints women have about the men they’re dating, and why it might not be as bad as you think.
Complaint: He’s immature.
Rationale: So many people hate the saying “boys will be boys” but life experience has taught me that when it comes to men behaving like boys, that saying is applicable. Whether it’s a way to stay young, or they have seen personal examples of the men in their lives losing their sense of humour, men behaving like silly boys is acceptable SOMETIMES. It’s critical that they understand when it’s appropriate to tell dumb jokes and one-up everyone, (a night out with friends), and when it’s not, (Christmas dinner at your parents’).
Keep him? As long as he knows when to turn it on and off, continue to hold his hand.
Complaint: He’s a Mama’s boy.
Rationale: You can’t make him love you more than he loves his mother! Nor should you want to, that is a completely different dynamic. Mama’s boys often have great respect for women and aren’t afraid to show their affection and appreciation. Unfortunately, Mama may have set him up for some adult failures, but it’s not his fault that she never let him ruin the laundry or burn dinner. You may think that he should have put on his big boy pants and told Mama that he’s a man and needs to do for himself. He’s thinking – correctly – that he’ll hurt her feelings saying that, and there will come a time when she won’t be able to meddle in his life, so he should enjoy the time he does have with her.
Keep him? As long as he doesn’t expect you to take over for Mam, continue to hold his hand.
Complaint: He wants to know your every move.
Rationale: This needy checkpoint system could mean that he’s been burned before. The key thing to consider is how he checks in with you. Does he demand to know what you’re doing, or is he just asking because he wants to know about your life? If you feel like he’s being unnecessarily nosy, talk to him about how his questions make you feel. And listen to his answers. If it turns out he’s been cheated on, his weariness is natural. Talk to your friends and ask if he can come out with you sometimes, which works great for everyone because he finds out you’re trustworthy and he gets to know the important people in your life. But it is important to spend time out without your man – you are an individual, being in a couple does not make you one person – so don’t invite him out with you and the girls every time. He’s not going to want to hear all about the total score your bestie got at the shoe store anyway.
Keep him? As long as he’s asking respectfully, continue to hold his hand.
Some of these examples are funny, and all of them are taken from real-life couples, some of whom worked and some who didn’t. The choice is yours!
Catherine Muss is a freelance writer based in Waterloo Region. She has a Bachelor of Journalism from Ryerson University, and she would have minored in psychology if she’d taken the “right” psych classes. To the benefit of this blog, she took the fun ones.