Writing about yourself is one of the hardest things to do. Whether it was a cover letter for your resumé or a bio for your website, trying to choose the right words to accurately showcase your brightest skills is enough to keep you up at night stressing out over things like whether you used “affect” when it should have been “effect”. No surprise then that filling out your online dating profile is agony!
Canada’s Dating Coach to the rescue! We’ve got some hot tips to make your online dating profile authentically sparkly and help you attract your dream man as soon as possible.
Step 1: Schedule quality time to write your dating profile.
You want to find your dream man and you want to hold auditions right now! Great! Your enthusiasm is stellar, but take this seriously. Singing up on a dating website on the fly is not a problem, but unless you’re willing to date a bunch of Mr. Oh Hell-Nos, dedicate at least an hour to fill in your profile. The reason is because you have to seriously consider what you want out of life, and how best to describe yourself. You’re worth it.
Step 2: Write your profile as yourself.
You are not looking to lure a man by crafting a profile to attract one. You’re done playing dating games, you’re serious about dating. Don’t write what you think your dream man will be attracted to, write about you so that your dream man – who will naturally be attracted to you – can find you.
Avoid what you think you want in a man, like, “must love dogs,” or “Seeking a man who loves world travel.” Talk about your interests and hobbies instead. “I love to travel! I’ve been to Newfoundland, Quebec, Florida and most of the UK. I’ve got the rest of Canada, at least half of the U.S. and Austria still to go. I love to hike on weekends and I’m curious to try out rock climbing, but haven’t found a climbing buddy yet. If my dog, Stanley, could talk, he would probably say I’m a big fan of couch snuggles and country car rides with the windows down and classic rock turned up.”
Be funny! Be self-deprecating! “Baking is my passion. I have a natural talent for scraping blackened bits off of my homemade bread. And did you know that chocolate icing will compliment even the crunchiest of cakes?” You’re not looking to book a job interview, you’re looking to set a date up with someone who is interested in getting to know you on a personal level.
BE HONEST. I cannot stress that enough. There’s no point in lying about anything, because he’ll find out as soon as you meet, or soon after. And you don’t need the stress of worrying he’ll find out interfering with your freefall into love. You don’t have to reveal your deep dark secrets in your profile, but don’t insinuate that you love to travel if you really don’t.
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Step 3: Choose photos of yourself in your natural habitats.
Choose 3 or 4 photos of yourself doing things you love. As gorgeous as you are, posting a bunch of headshots like you’re auditioning for a movie role or modeling agency isn’t real, and if I’m going to be brutally honest, kind of boring. You are not boring. You are amazing! Post photos of you in action, on a hike, camping, reading at the cottage, on vacation, etc. Avoid posting photos of you in a group, because you don’t have permission to post photos of your friends on your profile, and because the focus of your profile is you.
Step 4: Set your geographical proximity to date locally.
Look at the men right in front of you before you start going further afield. Dating locally – within an hour’s drive of your current location – makes it easier to meet up so that you don’t go weeks on end waiting for your schedules to sync. The more obstacles you throw into dating, the harder dating is, and the less patience you will have for it. When you lose your patience you either settle for a guy who is just okay, or you give up altogether. And you don’t want that!
Long distance relationships are incredibly difficult and are really only advisable after you’ve made a solid in-person connection. And there’s less of a chance that the guy you’re chatting with online is already in a relationship because he (hopefully) is too scared that you’ll run into him out with his girlfriend (or wife!) in public.
Do you have any pro tips on dating profile do’s and don’ts? Share in the comments, let’s help our fellow single sisters out!
Catherine Muss is a freelance writer based in Waterloo Region. She has a Bachelor of Journalism from Ryerson University, and she would have minored in psychology if she’d taken the “right” psych classes, but she took the fun ones instead.
Chantal Heide is an Author and Motivational Speaker, focusing on dating and relationship building. Her books Dating 101, Comeback Queen, Fake Love Need Not Apply, No More Assholes, After The First Kiss, Fix That Shit, Say Yes To Goodness, and Custom Made (available on this website, Amazon, and your favorite online book retailer) help her readers attract the love they're looking for, regardless of their starting point . View her BOOKS page for more information. Be sure to check out more free advice on Facebook, YouTube, and Itunes, as well as fun tidbits about her life on Instagram and Twitter.