You’d think the easiest way to stop fighting is to just pick different people, and that can work some (or most!) of the time. But if you’re finding you end up in a lot of fights over “stupid stuff”, you gotta start the work at home…deep in your home, like right down deep inside of you and your brain. Scientifically speaking, you have to shrink your amygdala, that part of your lizard brain that’s geared to tell you whether you need to get your gloves on and give er’, or get your Nikes on and run for the hills – your fight or flight response.
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Your amygdala is, in my opinion, overdeveloped for today’s much safer world. So go ahead and shrink it, cause now it’s just causing you problems. You’ll find that not only will you feel much calmer, much harder to “trigger”, much saner and safer and more secure in your body really (take my word for it, I’m speaking from experience!), but you’ll feel more compassion, and you’ll look at situations that used to p*ss you off with a new empathy for the other person. Like, instead of going off on your friend for being late, you’ll feel Zen while waiting, and when they show up all flustered because their sitter was late or the line-up was long or the traffic was jammed you’ll give them a hug and say, “that sucked. Now let’s go pick a different movie”.
Chantal Heide is an Author and Motivational Speaker, focusing on dating and relationship building. Her books Dating 101, Comeback Queen, Fake Love Need Not Apply, No More Assholes, After The First Kiss, Fix That Shit, Say Yes To Goodness, and Custom Made (available on this website, Amazon, and your favorite online book retailer) help her readers attract the love they're looking for, regardless of their starting point . View her BOOKS page for more information. Be sure to check out more free advice on Facebook, YouTube, and Itunes, as well as fun tidbits about her life on Instagram and Twitter.