Please or Register to create posts and topics.

Relationship ended

Im 22 and my boyfriend of five years ended things because we were arguing and he said we weren’t happy together anymore.

I noticed a switch in our relationship after he kissed another girl on a holiday with his friends last year. It really affected my trust but I decided to forgive him because he told me he regretted it, he loved me and it would never happen again. His friends had told him to lie about it but he chose to come clean and I respect that he told me.

We rekindled our trust and the relationship was good up until about three months ago. I noticed he was different and had stopped putting in the same effort. When things got rocky, I moved in with him in an effort to fix things. I bought a copy of Fix that shit and a lot of things Chantal says in the book made sense. I did the grand gestures, bought all the food, did all the cooking and cleaning, helped to remodel his house and bought some of the materials. I even made meals for when I wouldn’t be there and froze them for him and made more of an effort in the bedroom. Still, my efforts went unnoticed. I put all my emotions on the line and had no money because all I was doing was spending it on him in the hopes he would realise what he had in front of him.

We used to be so excited to see one another every weekend (we did long distance for 3 years) and recently, he chose to see his friends instead of me three weekends in a row. When I told him this upset me he said he can never make me happy and he can’t see anything wrong with it. I don’t mind him socialising, it just hurts that he dedicates every weekend to his friends and not spend any time with me.

He broke things off and I went to collect my things from his house last week. I cried my eyes out and told him I wished things were how they used to be and asked if we could try once more to work things out. He told me he doesn’t know if he’s doing the right thing but something needs to change. He thinks he’s put effort into the relationship to make things work but I personally can’t see it. Then when I was leaving he kissed me passionately.

Since he ended things, he has been going out with his friends every weekend. I barely have the strength to leave the house for work. He’s been hanging out with girls he knows I don’t like. It hurts so much.

I’m at a complete loss. I feel so low and anxious all the time without him, I can’t stop crying. We have been through so much together, deaths in our family, graduations, christmases and big birthdays. I don’t think I’ll ever find someone who made me feel like he did during the good times. I love him so much. Any advice welcome.

I’m sorry for the pain that you’re experiencing now but honestly, why do you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? You sound like an amazing person who gave her all to save her relationship...he just didn’t care and didn’t appreciate your efforts. Yes, you have a lot of history together but it’s ok to outgrow people and move on....I think you need to get over him you need to block him on all social media and erase him from your phone for at least 6 months. Take that time for self care and you start reconnecting with your family, friends, and yourself again.

Believe me, he may not miss you now but he will and when he realizes what an idiot he is, you’ll be happy and carefree and living your best life. You’re 22! You’re young! Have fun! Date!

Thank you for taking the time to send me a reply! I don’t know why I want him still, I suppose it hurts to think of him with anyone else. I hope one day he realises he’s lost a good person. Thank you 🙏🏼

You welcome 🙂 I think sometimes it’s the whole “I want what I can’t have” deal going on...but just block him and move forward and you’ll be soooo much happier! Good luck!

Buy now