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Boyfriend gone to Basic

Hello! My name is Haley and my boyfriend has been a basic training for the US Army for about a month. During this month his Stepdad has developed stage four lung cancer... the prognosis is not good. His mom is supposed to call him and tell him the news tomorrow. I’m afraid he might choose to leave basic training in order to be with his family. I’ll support him if he does but I believe that coming home might set him back a lot. What should I do?

Im so sorry to hear about this difficult time. I’m not sure how much time they gave his dad but will he not be able to get an emergency leave should dad take a turn for the worst? It’s sweet of you to worry about him but I think in this type of situation his heart needs support in whatever he chooses to do. I know you have his best interest at heart but if you try to persuade him to chose staying when he wants to leave it may cause regret later down the line. Basic will always be there but his father’s time is limited. Absolutely talk to him and about it but in the end tell him you support him wholeheartedly and want to know what path he feels is best for him. The magic of a strong relationship is that you can trust you will always be able to rebuild and face life’s curve balls together ☺️ Hope this helps love. Best of luck!

Hey! I’m glad you are concerned for your boyfriend’s overall life plan. I do think you should just let him decide to do what he feels is right in his heart and don’t try to convince him otherwise. Yes, leaving basic might set him back a little bit but the thought of him never seeing his dad again or having his dad pass away while he is far may dawn on him for the rest of his life. I think you should lay out the options with him, like say “If you leave, then XYZ will happen but if you leave, then XYZ will happen.”

Let him him know what his options are and then let him know you will be by his side for all of it. Maybe even ask his mom what she thinks about it and how it will effect your boyfriend and his life plans. It’s very tough spot to be in and I’m very sorry that you have to go through this. Sending you love~

Hello Haley! I love seeing a supportive gf through these unforeseen situations. I agree with the others that letting him decide is best, although this doesn’t mean you can’t give advice if he seems stuck or asks you directly what he should do. Like Jayde said, helping him see his options will be helpful. I think his mother would really appreciate talking to him as well, so perhaps offer to be an unbiased third party if he needs assistance contacting her because of his training.

Best of luck and stay strong! <3

Hey all,

Just a quick update. So his mom told him that his stepdad is sick. But she has not told him how bad his stepdad actually is. His stepdad was moved to a hospice house yesterday and is in very poor condition. Now I’m concerned that he won’t get to say good bye to his stepdad. He needs to have the choice and I don’t think his mom will give him that choice. In short I’m just concerned for him. The situation still hasn’t resolved its self unfortunately.

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