5 Simple Steps of Letting Go

5 Simple Steps of Letting Go

By Loreque Fearon

 

We covered a very important topic previously about loving yourself, and how exactly to do so; so staying on a similar path this article will cover the importance of letting go of people that cause irrelevant situations in our daily lives. As well as how to be successful with doing so.

This is  a very broad topic because it can range from stressful situations that build up in our minds over time, or bad relationships that we are holding onto for whatever reason.

To start off I would like to keep in mind that whatever the situation may be, you cannot let go and move on from something if you have not accepted the past situation, and know that there is  nothing you can do to change it.

Yes I know that sounds easier said than done, but we’re all human. And the fact is if you care enough about something/someone to want to learn how to get them off your mind, this might take longer than you expect. But your mental freedom is worth the time!

To get through this process it might be easier to put this plan into steps. Step one of course would be acceptance and acknowledgement. Take a moment to realize and acknowledge what they did to you, and what you were put through; then just accept it.

Constantly regretting everything, and hating what happened is not going to fix the past. Which is what most people tend to forget. You can get upset and flip out all you want, but at the end of the day, how is that fixing the situation? Answer: It’s not. So take a few breaths acknowledge what happened, and just like that, accept it.

The next step involves getting rid of all traces of whatever it is you’re trying to let go. Which basically means removing and deleting phone numbers, pictures, albums, basically anything that played a significant part in whatever it is you are letting go of. Step 2 = Detox  Phase.

I know the detox phase can be harder than it should be because it’s hard to get rid of memories, but it’s all for the best. If you want to let go of someone you have to make that step to remove the physical/digital aspects of them in your life. You can  be great at forgetting all about them, but once you bump into that framed picture you had of them, it will all come back.

Overall the detox phase is important because with this we’re learning not to reminisce about the past, which comes in handy in step three.

Step three: Understanding that it’s over. A lot of people will think they understand this step when really they don’t. We can’t stop remembering whoever the person is because we continue to feed our feelings with memories.

Memories are what bring everything back  because we long for the care and attention we once got so we start to reminisce, then begin to believe that it’s not over. And from there it gets harder and harder for our minds to let go because we stop believing it’s over.

So once we ground ourselves on the fact that the situation with the person is over, we can then proceed to being successful in letting them go mentally.

The next step in this process is knowing that you know the lesson and that you’ve learned from it. Because at the end of the day you might feel like you have lost everything, but you always gain knowledge from the experience. That’s how we are going to succeed in making sure we don’t find ourselves in a similar situation.

And the last and final step is to cut yourself some slack. Forgive yourself, it’s not your fault that whatever has happened happened. Sometimes we tend to beat ourselves up about this, and we shouldn’t because  at the end of the day you are all you’ve got.

There it is, five simple step on letting go and moving on from stressful situations and people that tend to hold you down. Acceptance and acknowledgement, Detox Phase, Understanding that it’s over, Knowing/Learning your lesson, and Forgiving yourself.

 

Loreque Fearon is a grade 10 student in Toronto, commonly known for majoring in an arts school for Dance but also studies in Literacy. She plans on writing book on dealing with different types of boys in relationships and is still in the process.

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Chantal Heide

Chantal Heide

Canada's Dating Coach

Chantal Heide – Canada’s Dating Coach
Chantal Heide is an Author and Motivational Speaker, focusing on dating and relationship building. Her books Dating 101, Comeback Queen, Fake Love Need Not Apply, No More Assholes, After The First Kiss, Fix That Shit, Say Yes To Goodness, and Custom Made (available on this website, Amazon, and your favorite online book retailer) help her readers attract the love they’re looking for, regardless of their starting point . View her BOOKS page for more information. Be sure to check out more free advice on Facebook, YouTube, and Itunes, as well as fun tidbits about her life on Instagram and Twitter.

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